Fathers and Values

Dad and DaughtersIt’s that time of year when we appreciate the fathers, the men who stepped into a father’s role, and in my case, the mother who filled both roles in my life.

Management Principles 101: The way a person treats other people is the way they will treat you. 

This is a working principle in business, and also in relationships. People nearly always operate from their value systems.

It is foolish to expect honorable behavior in relationships from dishonorable people or to expect people who lack ethics and values to suddenly begin acting with them. Once you internalize this truth, you can save yourself a lot of heartache and disillusionment in both business and relationships. That said…

What can I say about my husband that I haven’t already covered a bit in each previous post?
He is a fabulous father and husband, and I think that springs not only from the role model he had in his own father but also from an innate sense of ethics and goodness that he was simply born with. I think that his upbringing nurtured this sense, and faith and his religious beliefs certainly reinforced it, but there is an inner core of self-confidence that he possesses. He simply knows what is right and wrong and has a nearly black and white view in his adherence to what is right for him.

Don’t get me wrong, he is not a person who condemns other people for making other choices. In fact, he will go out of his way to listen to all other input and sift through it for alternate viewpoints and better ways of doing things. I often bask in the warmth of his praise for coming up with an option he hadn’t considered or a “great idea,” but when it comes to right and wrong, values and ethics, and how people should be treated…the man knows deep inside what that looks and feels like and he walks the walk.

I can always trust his honesty, his transparency, his great passion for whatever he is doing, his love for God and for his family. These are the pillars he is built on. I can trust his ethics and values implicitly. These will be qualities his daughters will be looking for in the men they commit to in their lives.

As a father, he has made decisions that took him off the career fast track so he could be involved in their lives in a meaningful way. He made the sacrifice to go in early to work so he could be home at dinner time most nights. He coached them in soccer, came to the big concerts and recitals and just listened whenever they had something that they needed to “talk to Dad about.” They always knew they had a dad who was strong enough to lift big weights, fast enough to run a 10K or even a half-marathon with them, and yet sensitive enough to shed a tear at “Extreme Home Makeover” or a sentimental card they gave him.

Our daughters and I have talked many times about relationships and how principles are even more important and sometimes stronger than love. People talk about long-term marriages and how there are rocky times and that their friendship got them through until they fell in love with each other again. I think this is true, but that principles play a large part in this as well. Principles and values are what keep you from giving into temptation during those rocky times

Am I saying not to trust in love? No, but perhaps I am saying to trust equally as much in the underlying values a person holds.

I feel for the guys who try to measure up to my husband. It is going to take some special qualities and I think our daughters may take a while to find men who combine intelligence, wit, a spectacular sense of humor and playfulness, integrity and the ability to love someone thoroughly and romantically that exists in their father.

Good hunting, my darlings. My prayers are certainly with you, for when you find him, you will be as happy as I am.

 

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