About Kalí


Welcome to the inside of my brain.

I’m a wife, a mother, a singer, a volunteer, a mentor, a philanthropist, and a writer. Renaissance woman? Maybe, but all of that variety may be more attributable to a short attention span!

These posts share what worked in our family to help create two wonderful, successful, self-motivated young women who give back to the world and have faith in themselves and God. They are the kind of people who will make a difference because they know how.


Read on, but start from the beginning in the Parenting and Management category if you are here for my parenting observations or use the handy categories index and you can start from birth and go all the way through to young adulthood.

I had been writing some personal stories as part of a women’s story circle and in 2010, I began writing about my experiences with Burning Mouth Syndrome.

If this is something that is of interest to you, just click this link: Burning Mouth Syndrome Blog – A Burning Journey and it will show you what I have written on the subject. I have suffered from this since one episode (4 months long) in 2006 and the most recent episode that began May 2008 and continues.

I am also a mentor to children and young professional women.  If you are interested in mentoring and my journey, check out Mentoring Posts.

Welcome. Poke around, and feel free to leave me a message!


10 thoughts on “About Kalí

  1. Kali, I’m a former journalist (but not looking to interview you!) and now teach computer science (private college prep school, Dallas, Texas). I am a BMS sufferer as well; started in 2012 and hasn’t let up. I turned 60 this February and the past year and a half suffer from some type of neuropathy (lower extremities). No dental work damage; so can’t be from that. I’m convinced it’s either: hormonal (most are post menopausal women who suffer this longterm) or nerve damage of some sort that can’t be identified without tremendous, longterm and likely dangerous testing of humans. Would you allow me to communicate with you? I would be eternally grateful for the connection.

    BTW: given I know a great deal about OQMs (I work directly with so many in my teacher mode) I can enlighten you and your followers a lot in the area of education. AND BMS…

    Hope to communicate with you soon…


  2. Kali, I’m a professional/composer who’s been suffering from BMS since June of 2005, yep, 9 years. I’ll be 60 soon, so I was mid menopausal when this started. I’ve been everywhere and tried everything, now I meditate, and chew gum. I’ve been through the holistic drill, the anti-depressant drill, and I’m contemplating the neurological pharmaceutical drill of Neurontin, etc. I take 50mgs of Zoloft and found pushing complex B’s to help a little, but frankly everything you read on the net leads to “pointless.” I found your blog, but I see that it’s slowed down a bit. I must say, group support makes me feel like I’m not nuts. When I tell people ‘non sufferers’ about this, I feel more alienated then ever. I say “it’s like sucking on an overwhelming cinnamon fireball coupled with a rancid copper penny, no make 10 cents worth of rancid copper pennies”
    I feel better just sayiing it to someone who gets it! Google me, and let’s chat: Sally Fingerett gtgirlcd@aol.com


  3. Kali, I am so grateful to have found your site. I was diagnosed with BMS about a year ago and have read as much as possible about it. First time I heard about this was over a decade ago in a newsletter from the Vulvar Pain Foundation. They attribute BMS to oxalates in the diet. Have you heard anything about that? I have seen an ENT specialist who thought I might have a fungal infection, but antifungals did not help. What type of specialist would you recommend seeing at this point? I plan to call my primary care to try to get a referral. Where does one begin in order to rule out food allergies, candida, etc.? I would appreciate any help at all–thanks. Ellen.


    • Ellen,
      I am sorry you have joined our rather select group of mysterious pain sufferers. I must say I have not seen anything in the research or been advised about a link to oxalates in the diet by any of the many specialists I have seen. I read up on it, and there is no obvious connection I can see. (You did not say who diagnosed your BMS, so you may have seen some of these suggestions already!)
      ENT is a good place to start because they can rule many things out, and since BMS is a disease diagnosed by exclusion, that is a logical move. Your ENT will look for the “horses” of mouth pain. Fungus, visible lesions, shingles or post-herpetic pain, irregularities in the vocal cords, etc. If it is BMS, all of this will come back completely normal.
      Dentists will rule out issues with your teeth and bite and in BMS, again, all of that will be completely normal.
      An allergist is not a bad idea, and it would be cool if an antihistamine or allergy shots solved your pain. That was not the case for me. BMS can co-exist nicely with allergies, so an antihistamine regimen is not a bad idea if you are symptomatic in other ways. There was even a study at one point that pointed to a possible connection between BMS and mast cell overgrowth (which, BTW, is treated with antihistamines). I take one for seasonal allergies, but my tests revealed that although I am mildly allergic to MANY things, I don’t react to any one thing or small group of allergens that would make me a good candidate for the shots.
      The most helpful specialist I have found is a neurologist and do your homework on this one. See if he or she has BMS experience or patients. Scans or MRIs are usual in this, to rule out tumors, unusual structures or anything physical that could be causing your pain. The neurologist is the one specialist who doesn’t have to rule out all of the horses to see the zebra, and will probably put you on some combination of Clonazepam/Klonopin and/or Gabapentin/Neurontin.
      The reason they will do that is that those are the two “go-to” medicines that have helped the most BMS sufferers, according to the research.
      Each person is quite different, so follow instructions and never simply quit a med. Klonopin has been the only medicine out of the hundreds (yes, hundreds) of meds and supplements I have tried over the last 7+ years. Will it work for you? I don’t know, but it may be worth a try.
      Good luck to you, and as encouragement, after all of these years of pain, my latest neuro scolded me for not taking a therapeutic dose of Klonopin. He increased my dosage AND put me on the dissolving sublingual wafers, which I take in the morning when the burning begins and then again after lunch. I won’t lie; I still get a tingly tongue from time to time, but the burning pain is greatly relieved most days. Hallelujah!
      Wishing you well and keep in touch if I can answer any non-medical professional questions!


  4. Hi Kali , can you please send me an email so we can connect about BMS- I’m 29 and looking for symptomatic relief and read that you found clonazepam to work well- is that still the case . Thanks



      Hello Ph,
      You may reach me at kalirourke86@gmail.com. Yes, I am still getting more symptomatic relief from Klonopin ODT than anything else I have tried. Something about the dissolvable wafer form soothes my burning better than even dissolving the regular pills in my mouth (and is MUCH more pleasant). I can only guess that the bathing of the tongue and oral cavity in this medicine is getting a better result. I still tingle from time to time and if I am short on sleep or dehydrated, I will have a worse day than usual, but over all, I am very pleased with this therapy.

      Hope this helps, and I am so sorry you have joined our group of chronic pain sufferers.


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