Drama and Your Marriage

©CanStock Photo / AndreyPopov

I watched a popular series the other night, streaming it as we do these days when I was stunned by a particular episode. To be fair, we watch these things for the drama, the ups and downs, last-minute saves and resolutions, and pretty people in awkward, funny or even painful situations. It is their stock in trade and is utterly predictable at times.

However, the drama is the smallest thing you want in your relationship or marriage. It can break apart the strongest love, ruin lives, finances, and futures and most of it is avoidable. You don’t have to have drama in your relationship to have romance. They should be two very different things.

In this episode, a couple has dated and known each other for years. They decide to have a child together, go through fertility counseling and make this huge commitment of bringing another human being into the world. Then, he discovers that she is not planning to raise the child in his faith, she discovers that her career is much more important to her than she expected, and the inevitable pendulum swings between these two who ultimately decide to marry and proceed, trusting that their love will see them through.

Yeah, let’s unpack that a bit, shall we? There is so much wrong with that picture. Continue reading

A Legacy of Pearls

This is a story of pearls.

When I was in my late twenties, a friend I worked with got an opportunity to go to China. This was not a usual occurrence at that time, and she asked me if I would like her to pick up some pearls while she was there.

“How much are they?” I asked. She wasn’t sure but she thought she could get me a really good strand for $500 or so. I told her I really loved the baroque style of pearls and a pink hue would be awesome.

“Baroque, huh?” she said, “Well, then maybe $400.” Done!

The pearls and 80’s hair – always a classic combination!

She brought back a strand of the most beautiful, lustrous, and baroque pearls and it was long enough to drape around my neck twice over. I wore them frequently, with business suits, dress up, whatever!

Then Dan and I got engaged and I decided I would like to wear them on my wedding day. My mother had done some jewelry making in the late 70s and had ground a large, oval opal herself and gave it to me as a birthday present. My husband and I discussed it and decided to have the jeweler who was creating our custom wedding rings look at it and see if he could create a strand enhancer for my Chinese pearls that would protect the opal and coordinate with the calla lily theme that was emerging from my engagement ring design and the pearl and gold earrings Dan was having made for me. Brian was up to the challenge and created a gold and pave diamond enhancer that was perfect! Continue reading

After the Weddings…

_Ogg-Wedding-0253SmI wrote about Weddings, Finances and Your Kids not so long ago, and now that the second of our two daughters has concluded her nuptials (last night!), I thought I would check back in with some of the takeaways from these experiences.

As I mentioned in that post, we gave our daughters the money that we planned to spend on each of their weddings, and the choices that went along with that gift. No strings were attached, other than that we expected to be there to see them wed. Continue reading

Being The Adult

canstockphoto44198158LenaRoAdulting is one of my favorite “new” words. It seems to capture the essence of watching our grown children taking on the responsibilities that we used to take care of for them (so seemingly effortlessly). We see them discover that being an adult is hard, frustrating at times, and just when your kids think they have it covered, that inner teen can pop out to remind them that they aren’t there quite yet. Continue reading

Making Moments Memorable

The Power of MomentsManagement Parallel: How do you make employees and co-workers feel truly valued? Is a small bonus or a certificate really going to do the trick?

My husband, a customer service expert, is adept at finding great sources of information that make very complex subjects more understandable. He recently shared “The Power of Moments” by Chip & Dan Heath, and I was struck not only by its applicability to a current nonprofit project I am working on but how it validated “Rites of Passage for Your Children.”

Continue reading