A lovely young friend of mine is pregnant with her first child. I rejoice in her happiness and she and her husband are eagerly waiting for the arrival while experiencing all that pregnancy has to offer. Heartburn, nausea, drowsiness during the day, difficulty sleeping through the night, and the ever-present full bladder! She is dealing with all of it with humor and wit and it is a joy talking with her.
When you talk with a woman experiencing her first pregnancy, it can be tempting to share all of the wisdom you have accumulated over your years of motherhood, but I try to keep it to a bare minimum. Remember how overwhelmed you may have felt when people told you their birth stories, gave you advice that you couldn’t even picture incorporating into your personal plans, or gave you a book’s worth of tips in one conversation. Forgive yourself if you have done that, but go forward and try not to ever do it again!
Instead, after thinking hard about things I really would have loved to hear when I was pregnant the first time, I made a list of things I could share. Never all of them at the same time, of course, but these seemed constructive to me. Continue reading