My dear and talented friend, Pam Benson-Owens, wrote a post on Facebook today about authentic “okayness,” (Yes, she acknowledged that wasn’t a real word.) that had strong nuggets of wisdom in it and a useful list of things that are not okay.
The one that caught my attention, as is often the case when I know it applies to me, was this:
“Tell someone you’ve forgiven them but remind them that you won’t forget. (If that is the case, just go on and keep your forgiveness.)”
How many times have you done this? I know I am guilty of it. Continue reading
Not everyone has these issues, but as a child of divorce and emotional abandonment, I have a few strategies to help bring your children through a divorce in a healthy way.
Some of these strategies I learned from my mother, who actually did a wonderful job of avoiding saying negative things about my father. However, she was only able to do that by not saying much at all. It was like he didn’t exist. I shared my younger half-sister’s father for a few years and didn’t really know the difference until that marriage fell apart and it became clear to me that “He” was not really my father at all. I was a little too young to ask many intelligent questions about my father, and a bit too involved in surviving the fallout for a few years. When I was seven, my mother married again and I had another step-father to deal with.
As I mentioned before in this blog, my father was never part of my life and that was his choice. I reached out to him after meeting him at age fifteen.